Not Actually Intended For Evil Purposes
by Shipperwolf
Summary: Pre Movie. As Metro Man continues to bust up Megamind's shenanigans, he begins to notice that the blue villain may not be so villainous after all...A look into various Roxanne kidnapping from the hero's POV. Metro/Megs/RR


My first attempt to write from the mind of Metro Man. I am aware that there is no dash - in Metro's name-I just did it out of habit at first and was too lazy to change it by the time I was nearing the end. My apologies!

I disclaim!

* * *

It was during Roxanne-rescue number twenty-four….

The very first time he wondered if Megamind was really as evil as he made himself out to be.

Metro-Man rolled his eyes as he sped towards his evil nemesis' hideout.

The city cheered underneath him, and the (surprisingly not concerned-looking) face of Roxanne urged him on.

Megamind was up to his normal tricks, kidnapping the reporter and using her as bait for him.

Plastering her face on city-wide television screens to get his attention.

Threatening her life with his latest mechanism-of-death.

He'd stopped the evil alien every time before, but he still felt a prick of panic and concern for the young woman as he flew so fast his cape nearly snapped from his shoulders.

He'd been only a mile from Roxanne when a loud sound, akin to an explosion, interrupted him. A quite violent car accident directly below had his ears filled with new and frightened pleas for help.

He sighed inwardly, but genuinely concerned, used his super-speed and inhuman strength to pull the tangled vehicles apart, rescue the people trapped within the mangled metal, and fly them to the nearest hospital.

Sixty seconds had passed.

Only a minute's worth of interruption.

As he smashed his way into Megamind's lair, the villain frowned at him, obviously perturbed:

"You! You're sixty-two seconds late! How DARE you take your time when I'm threatening your happiness? Here I am, trying to destroy you, trying to kill your precious Miss Ritchie, and you can't even take it seriously? You'd _better_ consider yourself lucky, Metro-Man!"

The spikes on the villain's wrists glinted in the lights above as he threw his hands into the air, exasperated.

The hero only paid slight attention as he gave Roxanne a once-over.

Still tied to a chair, she looked both bored and annoyed by the large, metal needles that hovered dangerously close to both her temples.

Metro-Man prepared to free Roxanne from her captivity, snatch Megamind on the way out and drop him into the Metro-City prison yard.

But the alien's desperate glare made him stop for just a moment, and he decided to amuse the poor, defeated super-villain.

"Okay, okay….I'd better consider myself lucky…_why_?"

He rolled his eyes as Megmind pointed wickedly at the contraption around Roxanne's head.

"Because, fifteen seconds after I realized you were late, I activated the Brain-Scrambler! The ONLY reason Miss Ritchie's brain isn't on the floor uncannily resembling a breakfast dish is because of the SLIGHT programming malfunction that resulted in a temporary shutdown! SO….THAT is why you should consider yourself…and Miss Ritchie, very, VERY lucky."

Metro-Man cocked an eyebrow. The thing did look dangerous. The needles were actually very sharp, and _very_ close to Roxanne's head. She looked at him with an indifferent face.

He wondered why on earth she wasn't terrified.

As he broke the metal away from Roxanne, gathered her in his arms, and simultaneously kicked the gorilla-suited fish/bodyguard away to grab the collar of Megamind's ridiculous villain costume, Metro-Man just happened to glance down from his mid-air stance.

His eyes followed the cord of the "Brain-Scrambler".

It led to a plug, lying nearly a foot away from the nearest electrical socket.

He shook his head and sped away with both damsel and villain in tow.

* * *

The second time he was late (Roxanne-rescue number forty-seven), it was because of a cat, perched terrified on the top of a power pole.

It had deterred him by only a second.

It had been enough to frustrate his evil foe.

Roxanne was suspended above a tank of mutated piranha. Looking at the delicate feet hovering only inches above their snapping jaws, they seemed eager to jump up and take a bite or two…or two-hundred. Yet they did not.

Megamind shook his fist at him.

"LATE AGAIN? What on earth is wrong with you? Do you WANT Miss Ritchie dead? Wait.…perhaps…the two of you are quarreling? As sickening as the idea sounds, I suggest you put your personal relationship matters to the side for now and start caring about your girlfriend's life! For you are lucky once again, Metro-Man! Lucky that my vicious "Piranha Giganta" have already fed on the flesh of an entire cow! They simply are not hungry enough to pull the poor Miss Ritchie down to her doom…."

Metro-Man allowed the now annoying banter to fade as he looked closer at the tank. The fish looked absolutely ravenous, and yet, were not jumping for the _bare_ feet hanging just above them.

In fact, they kept looking toward the side, away from him.

Glancing up, he recognized the large mechanical form of "Minion" standing on the other side of the tank.

Using his super-vision, he looked closer…

And noticed the alien fish shaking his head at his wild, much less intelligent kin…._directing_ them…telling them _not_ to attack Roxanne.

Metro-Man blinked a few times before re-composing himself.

Megamind continued to rant as he was flown back to jail.

* * *

The third time he was late, it was on purpose (Roxanne-rescue number sixty-three).

As Metro-Man sat perched on the top of a skyscraper, he sipped his Dr. Pepper and enjoyed the view high above Metro-City. Megamind's cackle sounded from the nearby news station—the one Roxanne worked for—but Metro-Man knew the blue-skinned genius was not actually in the building.

He'd hacked into the media once again, and was now taunting him, ONCE AGAIN, with Roxanne's life.

How many times were they going to do this?

How long before Megamind realized that Roxanne was NOT his girlfriend?

Too long, apparently.

He downed the rest of his drink, accurately tossed the plastic bottle into a recycling bin thirty stories down, and took off in a flurry of wind and cape-fluff.

Metro-Man was seven minutes late.

Megamind was livid.

Roxanne was surrounded by the chomping metal jaws of nearly two-dozen brainbots.

"I don't understand! How many times must I threaten poor Miss Ritchie's life with my fantastically life-threatening inventions of doom? How many, Metro-Man, before you surrender? How many before you surrender in a timely manner?" The villain's flowing black cape _whooshed_ as he turned his back on the hero, and Metro-Man could tell his foe was frustrated and….insulted?

Surely a villain of true evil intent would not _care_ about such small, silly details.

True evil would not _pretend_ to harm a helpless woman. True evil WOULD harm her.

And above all, true evil would not invent robotic minions that acted more like dogs than monsters.

Metro-Man ran a hand through his (perfect) hair, watching as Roxanne grinned at the nearest brainbot. The metal teeth seemed to smile back as it gnawed on a wrench, its back end wagging happily.

"Are you listening? With a snap of my fingers I could have my brainbots tear Miss Ritchie to shreds! Are you not concerned?"

The sound of his enemy's voice had him forcing away a smile of his own.

"Megamind, the only thing I'm concerned about is the lack of security at that prison. I'm going to have a talk with the Warden. You won't be getting out of there again any time soon."

His heroic banter held a much less condemning tone than usual.

Much less condemning, because this day, Metro-Man had come to an important conclusion.

As he scattered the brainbots away from Roxanne with his laser-vision, his grip on the collar of his foe was not nearly as rough. Taking the reporter's hand, he grinned down at her in understanding.

They flew away, Megamind yelling for the brainbots to come after him, for Minion to arrange his next escape.

Metro-Man met Roxanne's eyes for a moment as they headed for the prison to drop off its most notorious fugitive.

She was never afraid, because Megamind would never actually hurt her.

He would never hurt her, because he wasn't actually evil.

Metro-Man wondered how long it would take for the highly intelligent "Master of all Villainy" to realize that himself.


End file.
